Pushpa, ex-wife of screen villain Ranjeet, Is emotionally and financially spent. Self-esteem is the only thing she took with her, when she walked out of his home on July 20, '83. It has taken her two years to finally speak on her traumatic relationship with Ranjeet. And she is only breaking her silence because-he wants a divorce. He wants to sever the last chords of a relationship that she gave 11 years of her life to... "Yes, Ranjeet has asked me for a divorce. I don't wish to be a participant in all this mud-slinging. It's not going to help in any way. Time and again he has spoken, contradicting himself. I don't wish to malign him in spite of all that I have gone through.” "With Ranjeet I always knew what to expect.lt was girls, girls and girls, in spite of that we got married. Before that, I had been living with him for so many years. I have been called all the names possible-his girlfriend, mistress, fiancée, wife and now of course his divorcee.” "At one time he had a ready excuse. 'Girls just throw themselves at me. It's the profession I am in'. He didn’t have any live-in girlfriends then. I was the only 'privileged' one. To me marriage was not essential. I always knew he was my man. I even heard of his plans to marry me from someone else. He did not discuss it with me. The next day, he presented me a car which did not impress me at all. I knew that it would never belong to me and I was right. It was used by his various girls and his brother.” "After our marriage, I was very happy despite all the Nillis, Jamies, Simples and Rinkis. I knew they were all temporary. But my happiness lasted for only a year. Till someone 'permanently walked in. And it was not Aaloka as people believe, who was responsible for our break-up.” "The culprit who ruined my marriage was a married woman herself. This affair was hushed up for various reasons. I was very good to her, as I considered her to be the wife of my husband's friend. But she would walk into my house as though she owned the place. And I was there to receive him at whatever odd hour he walked in.” "She would tell me, 'Pushpa, I am feeling so weak, will you please make me some daliya'. Fool that I was, I would rush to give her 'daliya' and badam milk. She would even ask me to leave the room saying, she had something confidential to discuss with him. And I would leave. "One night I walked into Ranjeet's den and caught them in the act. This b.... was completely sozzled and drugged. When I demanded an explanation, he slapped me. This female didn't even flinch. She only gave me a stupid, drugged look. I became hysterical and he dragged me out of the room and beat me black and blue. That was the time I made up my mind to leave. I packed my bag and walked out.” "Yes, I was pushed into taking this step. He wanted me out as soon as he got involved with this rich b.... In fact, instead of me acting the wife, she would have heated arguments with him about his various girls.” "Money was never important to me. I never interfered in his financial matters. He gave me enough money for the housekeeping. Later he even cut down on this drastically. When I confronted him saying that it was impossible to manage, he told me to close the kitchen. Whenever he had guests he would send for Chinese food while I ate rotis from a nearby dhaba. He would even grudge me that and look at me as if to say, 'You are living off me”. "Recently, we met at a mutual friend's place and he asked me for a divorce. He explained that then I'd be free to marry again, knowing very well I wouldn't dream of doing such a thing. It's he who wants to get married. And though he denies it, I know of his plans.” "A friend of mine asked him to give me alimony. But as far as I am concerned, he is broke. He very clearly stated that he doesn't have any money to give me. Of course, giving his latest live-in girlfriend, Aaloka, expensive presents is beside the point! He knows very well that I don't have any income at all. I don't even have a place to live in. I keep shifting between Pune, Ahmedabad and New Vashi. I'm totally dependent on my family. When the same friend asked him to provide me with a flat he said, 'She can live in the servants' quarters outside my bungalow'. What can a person expect after this?” "I haven't yet decided on a divorce or whether or not I will fight for my alimony. I don't have the heart to fight over a measly matter like money. If he wanted to, he could have offered it on his own. What's the sense in having to ask for such things?” "Who knows, I may put up a fight or I may relent. I'll wait for him to make the first move. As yet, I have not been legally intimidated about divorce. As always, I'm waiting..." ______ Santosh