What is it about Guru Dutt that we perhaps know but are not willing to accept?

What is it about Guru Dutt that we perhaps know but are not willing to accept? Vasanth Kumar Shivshankar Padukone, or Guru Dutt as he came to be called, was best known for his contribution to Hindi films. His cinematic excellence and his non-conformist technique of cinema is even today not the easiest to fathom, forget replicate. His films like Baazi, Aar Ya Paar, Pyaasa, Kagaz Ke Phool and of course Sahib Biwi Aur Ghulam were all acclaimed hits of their times, each marking a genus of genius that sets him miles apart from his contemporaries. And yet all agree that it is the late Kaifi Azmi’s description of this filmmaker par excellence that hauntingly hits the nail… He appeared as a “confused man, not knowing what he was doing, not knowing just what it was that he wanted on the sets” …and similarly perhaps even out side of the sets. Clearly there was something Guru Dutt was looking for, something he was desperate to do or perhaps undo. Something that gnawed at him till the time depression and sadness swallowed every ounce of his will to survive. On October 10, 1964 Guru Dutt was found on his bed lifeless. There are many rumours surrounding his death. While most call it suicide, his family and son, Arun insist that it was a combination of alcohol and sleeping pills that did him in. The mystery and rumours surrounding his death only served to increase curiosity. After all, 39 is hardly the age to die and Guru Dutt had lived a life which was of acute interest to many. Starting off with his name, there’s an interesting anecdote regarding how he got it. It is said that little Vasanth had met with a very bad accident and to give him strength to combat any danger that could affect his health, his parents Shivshankar and Vasanthi decided to give him a powerful name. Thus he got the name Gurudutt and we got Guru Dutt! While very young, his family moved to Kolkata. Due to financial constraints, Guru Dutt couldn’t pursue higher studies but from a very young age he had showed strong interest in photography. Till date, his concepts of black and white photography are unparalleled even by contemporary artists. Later, he joined the Uday Shankar Culture Centre where he was exposed to the Bengali theatre scene. The love for it stayed till his last breath. In fact, he had scheduled an appointment with Mala Sinha for the day after he passed away to discuss a film which was loosely inspired by a Bengali play. Even his script Pyaasa, is said to have been highly influenced by Sarat Chandra Chattopadhyay’s Devdas. It was his love for literature and acting that made him leave his job as a telephone operator and come to Bombay when his family shifted base to the City of Hope. Being a trained classical dancer, it was easy to get a job as a choreographer. He signed a contract with Prabhat Films, Pune, for a period of five years. During these years, along with choreography Dutt also dabbled a bit in acting and assisted directors like Vishram Bedekar, Anadinath Banerjee and Amiya Chakravarthy. After his contract expired and having spent a year unemployed he turned to a friend, whom he had shared a room with in his struggling days. This friend, we know as Dev Anand. Dev Anand gave him a break with Ketnav Films and Baazi. The film not only garnered Guru Dutt success but also his wife! It was during the song recording for this film that he met singer Geeta Roy. After three years of courtship they married on May 26, 1953. Though they were an envied couple initially, the marriage hit rough waters around 1957 when Geeta Dutt walked away from him for good. Their marriage, which saw the two of them compliment each other very well, in the early days, was over. Guru Dutt’s sister, Lalitha Lajmi has even quoted Geeta Dutt as being “The pillar which made Guru Dutt believe in himself.” Their three children Tarun, Arun and Nina completed their family and all seemed extremely normal. Perhaps too normal for the likes of Guru Dutt; he needed something to work upon… a drive which pushed him away from his regular happy family towards an ‘unachievable goal’ who was mostly seen playing heroine in all his movies. There were constant fights in the house due to his obsession.